The things kids say

Last night I had decided to take a long hot bath. We had been working on sorting through boxes and boxes of stuff from the basement. I was in the bathroom, bent over cleaning the tub when the door opened and my five-year old daughter stepped in. I should be used to this by now as privacy goes out the window when you have children. :-)

The Kinder: "Eww, Mommy, you have hair on your butt!"
Me: (reaches behind me to check)
The Kinder: "No! On your other butt!"
Me: "My other butt?"
The Kinder: (points on herself) "Down there."
Me: (blushing realization dawns) "OH! My vagina?"
The Kinder: Yeah! (sounding shocked at the concept)
Me: (wrapping back up in my towel as this one may take a bit) "Well, baby, most women have hair on their vagina at some point in their lives."
The Kinder: (looks absolutely mortified) "EWWWW!"
Me: "It's not eww, it's just something that happens to you when you get to be about Spidey's age."
The Kinder: (eyes big) "Will I get hair down there?"
Me: Yes, when you're around Spidey's age, baby.
The Kinder: (eyes even bigger, absolutely mortified) "EWWW! But I don't want hair down there!"
(Tim chortles and dashes out of the bedroom from where he's been eavesdropping.)
Me: "That's a bridge we'll cross when we get there. You don't have to worry, though, it doesn't hurt and it's not a bad thing at all. It's just part of growing up."
The Kinder: (thoughtful for a bit) "Boys don't have hair down there."
Me: "Well, most boys naturally get hair down there when they're about Spidey's age." (I'm so avoiding the sculpting and scalping aspects for both men and women. LOL.)
The Kinder: (thinks about this) "Spidey has hair down there?"
Me: "Well, I don't know if he has started to get hair there yet, but quite possibly."
The Kinder: (opens her mouth and bellows her brothers name)
Me: (trying not to laugh) "No, no, honey. It isn't polite to ask someone if they have pubic hair."
The Kinder: (crestfallen, then thoughtful for a second, and then bellows her brother's name again)
Me: "{Kinder}, do not ask your brother if he has public hair. It isn't polite to ask people that kind of question."
The Kinder: "Why can't I ask Spidey? Spidey's not people, he's my brother."
*insert longer conversation with much amusement on my part!